You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
