Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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