there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
