They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
