I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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