This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
