her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
