Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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