do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
