Nicole vs. Life
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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