Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
