well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
