when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
