why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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