shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
