but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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