it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
