Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
