Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
