david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
