We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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