so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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