'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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