ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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