My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
