physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
