When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
