Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize