sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
