We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
