who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We're facebook friends in real life
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
