Nicole vs. Life
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
