i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
