peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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