he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
