It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize