I just pynch a tree in the face
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
