i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
