its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
