I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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