Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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