I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
