i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
