walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
