It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
