this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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