I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
