I am puke
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
