I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
