Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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