Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so explain again why im purple
no
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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