Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Randomize
