He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
