am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
