she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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