Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
