I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
