im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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