so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
