you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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