ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
