Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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